glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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