I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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