I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
