after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
