dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
