i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize