I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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