No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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