theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize