can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
