i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
