I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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