problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
