You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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