I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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