Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
