Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
