We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
