woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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