I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
