There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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