I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
