I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
