At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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