It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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