Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
