weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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