That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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