You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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