if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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