i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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