Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
