They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
