jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
