does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
