she looked like the bat from fern gully.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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