Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize