True but thats because hes a fetus.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
