How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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