Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
