At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
