that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
