how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
