My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
