All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
