Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Pappa wants mamma naked
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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