And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
