i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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