i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize