May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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