Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
