My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
