So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
