I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
