Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
