Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
