I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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