Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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