If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
