If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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