youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
