Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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