you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
