So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
