No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
