im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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