I don't think brook has ever known best
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
