I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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