When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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