I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
