But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
